There are courses for everything under the sun out there but when I think about a full life, I always wonder if I or ‘we’ as a society are chasing the wrong targets and therefore learning endlessly the wrong things.
If you’re a woman, society tells you that you have to be first and foremost beautiful – whatever that entails. Then you have to be successful – that includes adding a lot of accolades to your career and initials to your title. You also have to be a good friend/sibling and of course a great partner/lover. Being a parent goes without saying. (This American society doesn’t speak much to one’s quality as a child or about its relationship to one’s parents)
If you’re a man society tells you that you have to make a lot of money. You may be a good man – family man – or you could be like so many, ‘a player’. Both are acceptable as long as you’re good at how you do it. It’s also ideal if you look like the cover men of Men’s Health – because duh that’s a picture of men’s health.
You go to school and learn the basic building blocks and how to think. Some teachers, if you’re lucky encourage creativity. Once you go out to the world there’s a lot of structure that teaches you what the confines should be to your opinions and behaviors. I’m not saying basic manners and expectations – but we even learn to provide feedback in a sandwich form! (You know one good praise, followed by a positive feedback or opportunity for growth, followed by another praise…)
I feel like just chasing the basic ‘targets’ can be exhausting. (That’s not to say I ascribe to the model described above of the modern ideal woman) What’s worst is that if I died today, I’m uncertain how much I would have really accomplished.
Growing up, my father always explained to me that life is like a hand – you have 5 fingers and they are different elements of life: Spiritual, Moral, Social, Economic, and Intellectual. Like your fingers not all the elements will grow the same length – you won’t strive as far for each, but it’s important that they are all more or less proportionate.
So much of my mental energy is curious about these different elements, and always has been. It’s not until now that I’ve decided to spend some time with them and think about how to develop these. I love to read, to write (although I seem to do it less and less), I enjoy podcasts. I feel that if I wanted to do a deep dive and grow in these, I could, so that’s my exploration goal for the next period. I don’t know for how long. I have a lot of thoughts I’ll explore. But I think in the end the goal is to learn and grow in these areas. Maybe grow with some readers too. If these sound interesting: stick around!
If you have resources you recommend on any of the core themes, please send them my way.
Thanks
By Olivia Uribe Mutal (@osum805 on Twitter)
P.S. But wait there’s more. Some other themes I think a lot about and will undoubtedly make an appearance include: Origin story (birth order, circumstance, location), Race, Culture, Demons, The self in relation to others (as a parent, a partner, a daughter/son, a sibling, a friend, an employee, a boss), Traumas, Productivity & habits, and lastly but not least important pondering your death – and working backward.
Anticipating that this year would be busy with each of our kids growing and demanding more time for engagement and anticipating that work would be busy in a year of transition, I figured I’d lower my reading expectations for the time that I would spend reading. Instead of shooting for 30 books as in the past few years, which at times had felt rushed, I lowered it to 25. I was pleased to finish just above that, a full 27 books! I ran more this year than in recent years and ran my first half marathon in seven years – during which I do a lot of listening to audiobooks, and that’s where I think I recovered some ‘reading’ time.
This year, my booklist saw something unexpected, a husband and wife pair in the ‘Fabulous’ category, no surprise it was the Obamas. I’ve also noticed that I am sliding back into old reading habits, reading primarily nonfiction books (20) over fiction (7). I have a really hard time getting into a fiction book. I started several but often find my mind wandering, and not engaging in the story. Two of my favorite themes – I think ‘favorite’ is an odd word, but themes I find myself delving into for several years now, have included end-of-life, and time management. In a way those two are related, acknowledging and remembering that our time is finite, how do we get the most out of it? What changes each year is an additional focus on various components, at times it has been parenting books, stoicism, and various philosophies, religion, and this year it seemed to be leadership.
I am about 40% of the way into The Gilded Ones by Namina Forna, and still only 23% into The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. Hoping to finish one or both by the end of the year - but we’ll see. Please send any good recommendations my way!
In the list below I have expanded on the books that I have read since summer – the books that I didn’t comment on you can find in my previous post. I am grateful for all the books I have enjoyed this year and for finding ten that were exceptional – the kind that bring up feelings, and ideas and stay with you forever for one reason or another. Here they are:
Fabulous – would highly recommend
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown – This is embarrassing. I started reading this book and thinking to myself that it sounded familiar, yet it was good. I keep listening and learning these great simple points. It turns out this was my second time reading this book, and not only that, it was the second time I rated it a 5, which is the highest rating you can give on Goodreads. It was so good I did what I do with the best books, I buy the as a hard copy, highlighted them, and reference them in the future.
The In-Between: Unforgettable Encounters During Life’s Final Moments by Hadley Vlahos -Having worked in a hospital for years and encountering death far more than the average non-hospital worker, I really appreciated the stories told in this book about the frequency of experiences that those close to dying have. I also loved how Hadley weaved her personal story with that of her patients.
A Promised Land by Barack Obama – This book is a must-read for those who love the policy as much as the politics. I’ve always said you cannot just love one, because the other is predicated on it. You cannot implement good policy unless you have the political capital. In this policy primer, President Obama walks the reader through how policies were formulated and many times the complexity of the situations that he managed. It was also great that earlier this year I had read Michelle’s autobiography so getting ‘his side’ of events was also fun.
What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty – This book was written by one of my favorite authors, her way with words is delightful. Most of her books are not memorable but very enjoyable. This one, however, was personally valuable as I near an upcoming decade celebration. This story is about a woman who loses consciousness and regains it but with a whole decade wiped from her memory. This had the power to remember where I was a decade ago how wild it would be to come to the present day – and how impossible it would be to predict the next decade.
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion – This was my first Didion book and it did not disappoint. I would have to say for all books but especially this one, the reader, the voice in the audiobook has such an impact on how you hear something. This book was so amazingly written, that Didion captures all of her raw emotions and can retell all her thoughts – even the small ones. It’s like you are really in her mind because, after all, we can only be in our own minds which we know to be scattered and focused all at the same time but have such very little insight into others’
How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence by Michael Pollan- Occasionally I like to read about things I know nothing about because it’s just good to have at least a primer on anything that is becoming relevant. In this book about psychedelics a practice that is broad-sweeping and becoming much more talked about, Pollan offers a good overview of what it is – or can be, and what the history and realities are vs. misconceptions. Of course, understanding that this is just one viewpoint, I can now listen to other parts of the discussion but begin with a general understanding of the definitions of the concepts, history, and language of psychedelics. The other thing I absolutely loved about this book is that it posed so many more questions that I had never considered. I have yet to revisit this concept and all the questions and thoughts that I had about it, however, because I know so little I’m afraid to go down what I hear is a very long rabbit hole.
Finding Me by Viola Davis
Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap… and Others Don’t by James C. Collins
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan B. Peterson
Think Again by Adam Grant
Becoming by Michelle Obama
Enjoyable and worth reading if you have time.
101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think by Brianna Wiest – I know nothing about Brianna Wiest but this list of what sounds like a smattering of stand-alone thoughts, mantras, and advice are mostly trite, maybe 80-85% of previously stated thoughts, and slogans that have taken over the feel-good industry, yet every now and then there’s a fresh thought a new insight worth holding onto.
The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter by Margareta Magnusson – I read Marie Kondo’s book about ‘tidying up’ and have several others on my list, yet I really enjoyed that Magnusson shared her personal story as she was making suggestions. This felt more like the story of Magnusson with practical advice rather than practical advice with a story peppered in.
Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson
The Inheritance Games Books 1-3 by Jennifer Lynn Barnes
Cesar Millan’s Short Guide to a Happy Dog: 98 Essential Tips and Techniques by Cesar Millan
Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro
Eh.
How High We Go in the Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu – I was very disappointed with this book. It is in the sci-fi/speculative fiction category that I really enjoy, and while some of the individual stories were interesting and maybe a little creepy, the way that the book was pulled together was sort of really odd and too far of a stretch.
Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel H. Pink – The single biggest question I have wondered about has to do with motivation. I first started asking about motivation when I was in high school and now even more so. I was hoping Drive would provide some insights into this question, and while it had glimmers of facts that resemble the questions that I have, it did not delve into the reason why some people are driven but not all. I can’t tell if it was disappointing because I have very specific questions, or because the research it presented mostly felt perfunctory or obvious.
The Office BFFs: Tales of The Office from Two Best Friends Who Were There by Jenna Fischer – I read this because I’ve watched almost all nine seasons of The Office, and while at times it had fun factoids, I can’t honestly say it’s worth the time.
Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader by Herminia Ibarra – I rated this book higher immediately after reading it than I remember enjoying it, so it may be worth revisiting.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey – Sorry, ya’ll. For all the hype and the way that it has prevailed in popular parlance about leadership authors and lessons, I only found maybe some of it worth retaining. Could it be possible that times are changing enough that this no longer can be a bible of leadership?
Trillion Dollar Coach: The Leadership Playbook of Silicon Valley’s Bill Campbell by Eric Schmidt and Jonathan Rosenberg
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson
This has been a great year of books for me; both fiction and nonfiction. I’ve read 14 books (my goal is 25) and enjoyed most of them. It’s important to note that this list’s lowest Goodreads rating was 3.76 for Klara and the Sun; the rest ranked higher.
Fabulous – would highly recommend!
Finding Me by Viola Davis. Amazing narrative from a wise and, powerful voice. Soul-crushing at times.
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman. Based on Burkeman’s theory, I’m almost exactly halfway through my life, and I find the perspective, refreshing.
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan B. Peterson. Brilliant points but snootily written.
Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap… and Others Don’t by James C. Collins. Wonderful lessons in management as well as for developing individual leadership.
Enjoyable and worth reading if you have time.
The Inheritance Games Books 1-3 by Jennifer Lynn Barnes. Very young adult. But I am obsessive so I couldn’t leave it without knowing how it ends.
Cesar Millan’s Short Guide to a Happy Dog: 98 Essential Tips and Techniques by Cesar Millan. We got a foster-to-adopt dog and it has been a while since I own a dog new to the pack, so I thought it would be good to learn tools to put to use. It had good themes and I learned about Millan’s life but it had way fewer ‘tips’ than I thought would be useful.
Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro. Such a good start but then it sort of went flat and had an odd ending. I love this genre and would read another of Ishiguro’s books again.
Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson
Eh.
Trillion Dollar Coach: The Leadership Playbook of Silicon Valley’s Bill Campbell by Eric Schmidt and Jonathan Rosenberg
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson
Currently, I am reading The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday since I have liked The Daily Stoic. Given the popularity and rise in psychedelics research, I was curious to understand more about the history, so I’m reading How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence by Michael Pollan. This book is very dense (in fact I have a hard copy) and know that it’s also a large volume, so in between reading this one, I snuck in two others. But it is interesting and I am learning.
How about you? What are you reading, recommending or learning? Let me know on @OSUM805 on twitter or @osum on threads! About that – I find myself using twitter less and less. I don’t knot that it will be a void that requires replacement, so I’m unsure about threads. How about you?
By the end of each year, I tend to write a blog post about the books I have read, the lessons I have learned, and at the very least about my favorite books. The end of 2022 was so busy with the holidays – and of course, our firstborn has a Dec 26th birthday! To add insult to injury I barely got to do a year-end review or write New Year’s Resolutions because I stumbled into the year to a January California rain storm which I have been in one way or another dealing with until last Friday – and of course, we continue to prepare and watch for other storms. As program manager of emergency services for a City – and my first emergency, this sort was sort of a 2023 plot twist where I had to readjust all expectations. I had no chance of updating a quick blog post of the last 15 books I read in 2022. (See covers above). I did do a proper blog post about the first 15 books I read in 2022.
My three favorites were:
Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mendel
Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert
Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted by Suleika Jaouad
I’ve barely had a chance to read at all in 2023. Here we are in mid-March and just last week I finished reading my fifth book. Because last year I felt a little rushed to read 30 books this year I adjusted my goal to 25, and at this rate, I’m so glad I did.
When I first began reading to make reading a habit I could internalize in 2017 I began reading 7 books and in 2022 I managed to read 30 – most of which I enjoyed. I wanted to know that I could read more if I committed to it and now I know I can and have expanded my knowledge and interests.
In 2023 I have read the following titles, and I must say the journey in books of this year is off to a good start!
Think Again by Adam Grant. I really liked Originals by Adam Gran and his podcast, and although I enjoyed Think Again, I wasn’t as awed by it, as I was by Originals.
Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse (in Spanish) – Tim Ferriss references Siddartha so much that it’s been on my list for a while. It’s a quick read and enjoyable read but less earth-shattering than I would’ve expected. This book is along the lines of The Alchemist.
Steve Jobs by Water Isaacson. I love Isaacson’s books because he goes into so many nooks and crannies to find untold stories and vivid examples of his book subjects. This tome is no different. Because his volumes are so large, they all suffer the same error which is repetitiveness in Steve Jobs, just like in Leonardo Da Vinci and Codebreakers, makes this mistake. Although, at this point, I wonder if that’s an editor’s flaw.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. This is the second time I picked up this book. The first I was too bothered by the cussing. Not to say I don’t cuss from time to time but I find it unpalatable, especially in a book. Once I got past the cussing at the recommendation of my husband, I did finally finish this book. Because I read a lot of ‘self-help’ books and books in the same vein (Ryan Holiday Sotic themes, Adam Grant, Brene Brown) as this author’s concepts I found most of his ideas – to be reused/repurposed in a boiled-down fashion. He did have an idea or two that I enjoyed and found new.
Good to Great by Jim Collins. This book was recommended to me in a professional coaching session on the theme of organizational leadership and I liked it a lot and will be referencing and using it in the future in the work that I undertake.
That’s all for now. I’m currently reading Trillion Dollar Coach: The Leadership Playbook of Silicon Valley’s Bill Campbell Eric Schmidt , Jonathan Rosenberg , Alan Eagle (learned about it in Steve Jobs) and The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday.
If you have any recommendations on a book I may enjoy that you’ve enjoyed, please reply or send me a tweet at @OSUM805
The bike I have had the longest is a Fila mountain bike. Don’t know the size but it’s blue and it fits me perfectly and I’m only 5’2. I don’t know the mileage that I’ve put on it but I know it’s a lot. When I was younger my dad worked at the recycling center in Santa Barbara and multinational companies would occasionally have loyalty promotions – Marlboro paved the way for Pepsi with this type of promo. While we didn’t smoke at all or drink much Pepsi my dad saved enough boxes and labels to create a fun project for my grandparents and my sister and me during the summers. From the Marlboro promo, we got luggage bags, and a couple rain jackets lined with fleece which I still keep because of the way they were earned but also because my grandpa wore his a lot and it reminds me of him. But even cooler than that, I remember us all sitting by the garage cutting out Pepsi Points and redeeming them in 1996 for at least two matching bikes. One, my dad used when he rode with us around the neighborhood up De La Vina Street. The other eventually I kept. I’ve used it as a commuter for short periods, for leisure rides and I used it once to train for a triathlon, which is something I never imagined. At times I’ve neglected it to the point where vines grew around it and I’ve paid many times for it to be maintained by a bike shop. I’ve made all sorts of adaptations to it throughout the years; I added a basket, mirrors, and stickers. Then three years ago I swapped out the basket for a baby seat which made it cumbersome and slightly scary. I’ve had the good fortune in all this time to never have to fix it on the road or change a bike tire myself. This past May I added a hitch for a bike trailer after learning in Yosemite that it could be done!
This summer, after all these adventures, I’ve come to replace my blue bike and although it’s just an inanimate object, it has given me a lot of joy and good memories. From how we got it to each memory that I have made on it, I am so grateful for all of the experiences on it.
This year my husband and I bought an e-bike – a RadRunner 2 that fits my oldest son in the back and a hitch trailer for the two younger boys. The bike trailer, we got from a friend, and thanks to C3E, Central Coast Community Energy, we got a $1,000 rebate meant to incentivize the electrification of transportation. Our garage doesn’t fit all the stuff great – our kids have so many two and three-wheeled toys, but I am having a hard time letting the blue bike go after our 26 years together.
This past weekend I began quipping about every misplaced toy, dish, and item in my house. I have never been a neat freak and when I had kids I made it a point to be less frustrated by the clutter because it would drive me crazy to be uptight about it all the time, and in turn, I would drive everyone in my home crazy.
This past weekend I was overwhelmed by it all; the disorganized unclean fridge, the dishes, the glass drink holders that had been out since my husband’s birthday party at the end of July, and the full trash can!
After shuffling things around and making a dent in some cleaning I went for a run. It was only in the afternoon that I realized that what I was having was anxiousness around the first day of school for my oldest son (4.5) who would start Transitional Kindergarten, and my second son (2.5) to start pre-school at a different preschool than the one we had already come to love, and care for my baby (10 mos.) being partly sorted out but mainly up in the air for the immediate future, while my husband who was caring for the baby and the boys – was also starting a new job also on Monday. Despite my realization, the rest of the weekend didn’t go much better. In fact, it was a train wreck.
My natural response to stress and uncertainty of any kind is control, and this weekend, I did not get anything under control, and it was a disappointment and a surprise to myself that I didn’t catch on quickly, and more importantly that even after understanding the trigger, I was unable to get myself to be calm and a source of calm for my family.
Earlier this week I saw a tweet that made me further understand myself in a larger context. Not only do I feel like all of this is hard; it is in fact hard and it’s hard for all families thinking through all the logistics.
In Spanish we have a saying, ‘Mal de muchos consuelos de tontos’ which is a close equivalent to this saying in English, “Two in distress makes sorrow less” although in Spanish, it’s a little less kind. But in my case, I felt better knowing I was not the only crazy one spinning my wheels and all of my households’. I just hope that in the future I will anticipate this temporary madness and take heed of all the stoic philosophy I read and be able to breathe and be kind to those around me; including my own family, teachers, and the random distracted driver that may have missed a light because 40% of Americans have children 18 and younger and many or most are likely having to deal with the same stressors at almost the exact same time.
I feel like I’m moving slowly through the reading of my books. I’ve enjoyed most of them and would recommend a good number of my first pile of 15. Here are my very brief thoughts on the books I have read.
Whiskey in a Teacup: What Growing Up in the South Taught Me About Life, Love, and Baking Biscuits by ReeseWitherspoon. This was an enjoyable super quick read. She is charming and no-nonsense. Reese shares lessons she learned and stories about her life as she grew up. She shared a lot about her grandmother and in a way it reminded me of some lessons I have learned from my grandparents and grandaunts in my life – who were not southern, but Mexican of Spanish descent. What is clear from reading this book and reflecting on my own upbringing is that good manners and good culture cut across countries and times. One example that stood out to me was dressing correctly for each occasion. This is something I work on instilling in my own boys. Other manners she shares include, the importance of responding to an invitation one way or the other, and always introduce yourself with your first and last name. She’s not pretentious, I like Reese so much – even more, after reading her book and hearing her well-thought-out opinions on podcasts, not just because of her brilliant enterprise acumen and filmmaking/producing capabilities.
Zero to One: Notes on Startups, or How to Build the Future by Peter Thiel This book is a good read for anyone with an entrepreneurial or curious personality. In it, Thiel poses these two valuable questions: “What important truth do very few people agree with you on?” (“Most people believe in x, but the truth is the opposite of x.”) and “what valuable company is nobody building?”. He then goes on to deconstruct examples of good businesses and bad businesses from a business model and or execution. He promotes the concept of a monopoly to mean – a company that’s so good at what it does that no other firm can offer a close substitute. Lastly, he hammers the concept of hard work and compares optimism to pessimism.
Talk Like TED: The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of the World’s Top Minds by Carmine Gallo
This book was recommended to me by my mom. At work and just for fun, I end up in situations where I have to speak in public. I enjoy it, but I am sure I would enjoy it more if I was better prepared. None of the tools in this book were brand new, yet it was a very enjoyable book with lots of examples of successful tactics. From most books aside from the journey, I enjoyed practical advice. From this book, it was important for me to remember these three pieces.
“Stick to the 18-Minute Rule. Researchers have discovered that “cognitive backlog” – too much information – prevents the successful transmission of ideas. Keep in mind the “rule of three” – structuring presentation in three main sections or themes.”
This year through work, and also through this book I learned about how to use a message map (which is really just a shortened version of the high school essay format). “Gallo shares his message map for readers interested in crafting their presentation in this manner: Step One: Create a Twitter-friendly headline; Step Two: support the headline with three key messages, and Step Three: reinforce the three messages with stories, statistics, and examples.” (Summary via Kathy Wilson)
10% Happier by Dan Harris
I really enjoyed this book. I had heard about it from an interview of Dan Harris with Tim Ferris. Ultimately it’s a memoir with a focus on the importance of meditation. The story was simple to digest and he introduces big thoughts in an easy manner.
One by One by Ruth Ware
In typical Ruth Ware it is an easy non-scary whodunit book that is only slightly memorable yet enjoyable at the time.
The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller
Madeline Miller’s writing is such a delight to listen to. This book, similarly to Circe her earlier book is captivating and entertaining. I don’t know why, but I liked Circe a little better and it may just have to do with the novelty of her style. It can only be new once, and then anything subsequent will feel like a knock-off even if it’s of her own style. In any case, if you like mythology, this is worth a read.
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
I picked this up after it had been referenced so many times by Dan Harris. I had also heard about it from the Jay Shetty podcast. It was an interesting read overall but it certainly got a little too out of the comfortable realm for me at other times. Partly it felt spiritual without being religious but I remember also sometimes not connecting at all with Tolle and wondering what in the heck he was talking about.
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid
This was fun. I had never read a Jenkins Reid book but this had made it onto a lot of recommended lists. It was enjoyable in a way that it was purely entertaining while I was out on a run or a drive, but the writing was not powerful or memorable.
On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King
The master of writing makes even a book about writing a fabulous read. There were two components; the memoir part, which reads almost like his fiction and, the craft part which was extremely valuable. In fact, I used his teachings already in an important work-related item that I wrote. I would recommend that anyone that likes King or is interested in writing, read this book.
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth
I still don’t know how I feel about this book! I was really looking forward to reading it and it was on my list for a long time but I felt almost personally attacked by analyzing my life and feeling like I haven’t stuck with anything long enough and am therefore somehow failing. It actually reminded me a little of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother Book by Amy Chua which was another book that had good points but I didn’t agree with all of it, and I didn’t like how it made me feel.
Atomic Habits by James Clear
This was a re-read from just last year, but I had enjoyed it so much that I hoped to make some practical use of it. I feel like so many areas of my life could be overhauled, but I re-read this and took on one small challenge; keeping my side of the bedroom clean. I began this challenge in June and it stayed clean all of June and all of July and now it’s about a 5/10 messy and I can easily tackle this, I just have to make a conscious effort every day, which means I clearly failed to make the change easy/obvious.
Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown
I’m going to say this was honestly the first time (of many) that I expect to read this book. It was in typical Brene fashion it was dense, interesting, engaging, honest, and funny and hit right to the heart of things – no pun intended. By the same token in typical Brene fashion, because it was so dense, it was difficult to take it all in at once, therefore this is a book to be brought out time and time again and thought about time and time again in different chunks. I’d love to make this one of my mornings reads for maybe next year.
This is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay
After having spent five years working in a hospital, this was a very funny entertaining book. Because of my experience, it feels like you’re ‘in’ on the joke. I like the way that it reads just as a short stream of consciousness anectdotes. In a way, his style is so British and I appreciate the bluntness, almost curtness. Maybe I was more meant to be a Brit in a previous life…Hmmm. I’d recommend this book to nurses, or hospital stuff because while it’s more of the same that one experiences, because it is relatable it’s a bit of someone that also understands the difficulties, whether they be emotional, or situational or just plain absurdities. Many times, this book made me wish I kept a journal while working at the hospital.
My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor
This is one of those books that I think I enjoyed more during the time that I was reading it, than after. It was a well written book and an interesting read, but I feel a sense of a ‘so what?’ even after having read it. This is a story of a neuroscientist who has a stroke and can have an awareness about the stroke and relates everything about it after her recovery. What was one interesting thing, is that she did talk a little bit about that metaphysical state of being that Tolle and Harris talked about. It is always fascinating for me when certain themes show up in unlikely places, and this was one of them.
A Terrible Thing to Waste: Environmental Racism and Its Assault on the American Mind by Harriet Washington
This was a very well researched book and thoroughly descriptive of a lot of historical environmental acts of blatant disregard and injustice. Its a dense book that likely couldve been shorter. What I did appreciate about this book was that it had some actionable advise and some resources for readers.
If you have any recommendations on a book I may enjoy that you’ve enjoyed, please reply or send me a tweet at @OSUM805
My husband was excited about the halftime show of this past Superbowl with Dr. Dre, Mary J. Blige, Eminem, Snoop Dog and surprise, 50 Cent!
Honestly, I sometimes fall out of the trending topics because I just get busy. Until the week leading up to it, I didn’t even realize it was Superbowl weekend, let alone what the halftime show would be. I teased my husband because the halftime performers were not the popular artists of the time. However, when the show came on, I absolutely loved it. This music was popular when I was in high school and when he was in college.
Several months ago I had a conversation about when in their lives do people listen to music the most and so it becomes ‘music of ones’ generation’. It was the consensus of us chatting that it really has to do with the years that you have a particular capacity to focus on things such as music. In particular we identified the mid or late teens through your time as a young adult. 15-30 that’s a 15 year span when many individuals have ‘soft’ responsibilities but also time to enjoy and immerse themselves in pop culture and are still discerning likes and dislikes. Once you have a full time, permanent job and likely a family, a mortgage, then your responsibilities and time commitments change and it’s harder to focus on the music.
Music is fun and powerful. A song can conjure up a time or place of your life as if you were there. Add to that, live concerts and the songs become as powerful as a photo album. I used to be crazy about music. I created plenty of cassettes from the radio, then burned so many cds for myself and friends, I was an early Napster adopter and now a Spotify Premium subscriber. It almost made me sad to reflect on the fact that I have lost the focus for it. When my first son was born I created a playlist with songs that I feel should be passed down – because they are either timeless and valuable to know, or they are meaningful to someone in our family.
Since starting to draft this blog several weeks ago – I decided to be proactive about finding out what music is popular today and have had the Billboard Top 100 Spotify playlist playing in the background whenever possible and I can honestly say, the music is still good. Similarly to values and traditions and sometimes even as an extension of these, if you cultivate the love for music, then when you need it, you’ve got the music in you.
If I had a magic lamp, I wish everyone in our country had free access to Early Child Care, Social Workers and (Case Managers), and Licensed Therapists.
Child Care – Quality Early Education
Regardless of your income bracket, if you have young kids you feel the pain of the ‘daycare dilemma’. Daycare or childcare, including preschool, is extremely expensive – up to and past the cost of each month’s mortgage or rent. Even Michelle Obama, in her memoir, Becoming mentioned Obama’s difficulties despite being two full-time lawyers and earning such a salary. So every two household income wonders, if it’s even worth having both parents work outside of the home. In addition, every engaged parent wonders if the choice they made is the best for their child/children, and almost always feels like it’s not. I can’t even imagine the challenges of single-parent households.
Research suggests that the early years are some of the most foundational for child development and it would be beneficial to our society to implement the best possible start for each and every child.
Lastly, it’s worth noting that to pay for the services that exist, is by no means what it should cost. Teachers and administrators have a tough job and should be compensated a lot more, and valued a lot more for the role that they fill in our communities. Not only do they keep our kids safe, but they do so with love, patience, and empathy. Day in and day out they help kids find their confidence and enthusiasm for learning.
Case Managers and Social Workers
I spent 5 years working at a hospital as a medical interpreter and during this time I met Case Managers and Social Workers. Their role is to identify the needs of individuals and match them and refer these individuals to existing resources. Like with any vocation, I have met CMs and SWs that are just in it for the paycheck and don’t mind the deluge of paperwork – however, I wish everyone had access to the compassionate ones, whose heart and dedication justify and exemplify this vocation. When done correctly, dedicated individuals who help identify and then direct individuals as a clearinghouse to the appropriate resources would be so valuable to anyone, not just those in acute distress. How many times in your life, do you just need to ‘Phone-a Friend’ for an answer, and unless you know super connectors that know the community deeply, you’re up a creek without an appropriate resource.
Licensed Therapists (Counselors).
I have been to therapy on two occasions in my life. One was a crisis intervention therapist, the other was a family therapist. In both cases, I was able to get my footing at a time when I was drowning.
Therapy (counseling) with someone who cares deeply about their work and the impact they have on their patients can have a profound impact on the course of your life – and what’s exciting about it is that you take a path by someone with knowledge, who has had proper schooling, but you learn a lot about navigating your path by simply looking inwardly and thinking through your thoughts, actions, and emotions, so you’re doing the work yourself.
For an extra wish, everyone could also have access to Life Coaches and Registered Dietitians
In addition to having access to these services and individuals, I would de-stigmatize the use of these so that seeking these services was commonplace. With the exception of child care, each of these resources is just that, resources – you are still the one that has to do the hard work of following or not following their advice. Having access to all this expertise and resources, we could all rely on each other, the support systems available, and optimize our own capabilities, ambition, and use of our bootstraps.
I used to be pretty rigid with myself and by comparison, now that I feel like I’m treading water – I’m trying to be far more graceful with myself.
Marcus Aurelius said: “Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself.”
I’ve always been a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. In previous years I have had mixed successes and failures with them. Rather than having very large New Year’s resolutions, I have found that single-month ‘sprints’ that fit into an overall resolution or theme are easier to accomplish. For weight loss, for example, it’s easier to do a ‘no sugar’ month than a year without sugar.
Coming into this year I had a goal to read and write more, to eat better, and so much more. By the time the third week of the month rolled around I felt like I was already behind. I got bogged down on a couple of big work items that required extra time. I woke up early to write in my journal 20 days out 31, I didn’t run nearly as much as I wanted, and I posted only 3 blog posts – including this one, and have only read 3 books. However, although I am behind on my goals, by no means am I slacking overall. I’ve decided this year to be a little more lenient and graceful with myself and appreciate what I have been able to do.
Facing a new month – the second of the year – I am enthusiastic that I will do my best, and it is in that doing, that I become better. Maybe I don’t publish a blog a week and read a book per week, but as long as I do as much as I can, I will do better than before. By not being too hard on myself, but still working hard, I will ENJOY the process, which after all, that’s part of the goal.
Some of my ‘not on the list’ goals this month included archiving all of my 4 year old’s artwork to make it into a photobook, doing a real estate photo shoot and, having a successful birthday party for my 2-year- old (with venue change within a half-hour of the party)
How are your New Year’s resolutions going? What will you do the same and what will you do differently in February?
There are so many types of coffee and so many accouterments for it.
I’m no coffee snob, and yet after writing this post I may reevaluate this statement. However, I first tried coffee as a child. ‘Cafe con Leche’ is a scoop of Nescafe or some instant coffee in a whole cup of milk just to taste it and gain a taste for it. In this light version I found it to be fine – not great, not bad, just fine.
I don’t remember when I began to have it regularly but I know when I almost gained immunity to its power. In college, I would spend my evenings at a coffee shop, Mojo, with decent, not great coffee but a good atmosphere for students. I’d often spend evenings well into their closing time at midnight and on days when I’d study for tests, I could easily drink a red-eye or double red-eye (shot or two of espresso added to a regular cup of coffee) to get me through the studying, and then go home and fall asleep immediately.
While in college, I traveled to China and Vietnam. One of my highlights was Vietnamese coffee brewed slowly and mixed with condensed milk for a fabulous taste. I remember buying myself a couple of filters to brew it myself. Sadly, when I came home, I seldom had the time required to properly allow the coffee to brew and seep as was necessary. Maybe it’s because I was home, the allure of the foreign was gone.
The end result looks like this. Very concentrated and rich and delicious.
When I began working after college, the morning coffee routine crept into my life. I’d brew some in a one-person Mr. Coffee, coffee maker or grab some to go, usually in a locally owned coffee shop. Because of my social nature, I was a big fan of meetings at coffee shops. I enjoyed the coffee house music, the unique chairs and seating arrangements, the workspaces, and the smell. I felt it was a good way for me to work with people and also run into other people, and set up subsequent meetings. The coffee was never great but usually not awful. Since this time, two of the coffee shops I frequented the most in Santa Barbara have since, shut down: Muddy Waters on the Eastside and the Coffee Cat, downtown. It’s a real shame.
Of course, I’ve enjoyed Starbucks and their Pike Place Roast brew. A bold taste. At home, we use the pod Keurig and buy the Costco Starbuck’s Pikes but it’s never as good as when brewed at the coffee shop. When we were in Seattle we visited the first Starbucks at Pike Place and the second not too far from there. The third, I understand was at the University but we did not find it and that’s where our tour of Starbucks ended. I did buy myself a 2012 mug I very much enjoy that is ceramic and has a lid. My only issue with it is that it’s too small – 8 oz.
Several years ago we went to Italy and then a year later to Paris. While on a road trip in Italy my husband hopped out of the bus at a stop to use the restroom and figured while we were stopped he’d get me a coffee too. What a sweetheart. When I took a drink I was shocked to find only a cup of milk. I asked him, what happened to the coffee? He said, I don’t know, I ordered you a latte. My poor husband didn’t know that in Italian, ‘latte’ just means milk unlike in America where a latte is a coffee with milk.
In Paris and in Europe in general I was surprised by the size of their coffee and by their punch. Maybe it’s because I’m used to drinking coffee stateside that I prefer a bigger smoother cup.
I get on these iced coffee kicks and for my birthday my husband bought me a ‘Coffee Genie’. It is filled it with ground coffee and water and then put it in the fridge. I remember enjoying this quite a bit, but like with all my other kicks, I don’t use it consistently. I did like it enough though to gift a similar item to my mom, who also enjoys iced coffee. I looked for the Coffee Genie itself but it’s possible that it went out of business.
At some point, I won a French Press but I never quite figure out or invested the time on learning how to use it, so I gave it away.
All this brings me to the reason why I started this post. I was intrigued to try Jot, a bottled organic coffee concentrate to make our morning coffee. My husband who often says he can’t tell the difference between a lot of different items including coffee was able to notice this coffee as smoother than others. I was hoping it would be a little stronger. Admittedly, I’ve only tried their ‘original’ and have a bottle of their ‘dark’ to try next. The fact that it is organic gives it a whole different taste. I cannot describe it, and I don’t yet know that it’s my favorite. Organic coffee is a thing these days – and places like Dune Coffee locally is a total hit, but I don’t know if just because we are in a coastal hipster region of sorts, or because this is a positive trend for coffee. For me, coffee is a little like wine, I can have the first sip and not love it and enjoy it plenty by the last sip, and I’m not sure if it’s because my tastebuds adjust to the taste over the consumption time, or if it’s an acquired taste, or because it sits better once it becomes familiar.
I’m not going to lie, I totally liked their free tumbler and startup cost to try. I’d have to do some quick mental math to figure out if it would be worth switching from the Costco Starbucks Keurig pods (which we only buy when it is on sale). I also want to figure out if the coffee warrants a switch even if it’s more expensive per cup. The jury is still out, but I do find it interesting that I was willing to try it.
Things I still need to learn about coffee include; the appropriate grind size, for how long, and how to store ground coffee.
How about you, how do you take your coffee? Are there any kinds of coffee you recommend? What was your favorite memory about coffee; self-made, or anywhere in the world?
oliviauribe 